Sunday, October 4, 2009

Am I a lady?

I like to think that I am a lady - certainly less of a Lady than the Queen, but definitely more so than say, Britteny Spears. But I wonder sometimes, what is it that makes me a lady? There are some things that are "unladylike" which I don't do - like spitting (ew) and others that I do (if you don't burp you will explode, or at least have stomach issues). Currently though, what is bothering me is language.

I used to swear very little, but as certain words became more mainstream and everyone around me was saying them, the list of words I do not say got smaller. I certainly do not say the "f" word, or any of the vulgar words used for the female genitalia. Or, as I prefer to say, "junk". I have somehow decided that it is ok to say "bitch" if its used jokingly "those bitches" - I blame this on Dave Chapell. Or "shit" if I'm pissed off (maybe the "f" word if I stub my toe bad) but I try to avoid letting them become a part of my every day language, and not to use them in anger. I definitely avoid using the "n" word, hesitating even to use it in a quote.

In my own family my parents very rarely cuss, my older brother hardly ever, I seldom do, and my youngest brother cusses more easily. Which leads me to wonder, is this a generational thing? Words you would not have heard on the radio before are no longer being bleeped out of songs or TV. I am of the belief that we are going to pot, and this would be just another example of the degradation of society. Perhaps it is not a generational change as I work with a woman in her 50's who cusses like a sailor, and some of my friends - older and the same age as I - swear freely.

Those who swear would probably say that this is a good trend, we should all loosen up and they're just words, right? And I'm too bourgeoisie wanting there to be a difference, wanting to carry myself in a certain way, wanting to be respectable.

And so I find myself back at the question, am I a lady? Can I be a lady and still work in a "man's job" and burp and fart. I have found that in trying to fit in this man's world, I try to act more like the guys, and talk like the guys and I am no longer quite sure what is really me. Am I really coarse? Can I burp and still not be coarse? Does how I dress weigh in to whether I am a lady? I think guys have it easier, I think it would be easier to decide if a guy was a gentleman.

What do you think, what makes a lady and am I one?

On the argument against me being a lady, I present this logic;
Food is the way to a man's heart.
Food is the way to my heart.
Therefore, I must be a man.

2 comments:

  1. Burping and farting are human... to repress any of the natural human condition does not make you a lady... it just makes you a demure wall flower. I think many of the "Ladies dont do that" stuff is from when woman were not 'sposed to draw attention to themselves. And cussing... well its all just words... no biggie.

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  2. I understand what your saying, because women, like u & me, who have worked with men (not in an office environment)experience something different. You and I learn that men usually hold back their real gross selves -a little- thank God - and we loosen up and swear once in a while. Oh well, we're better off than the women who have no clue what the real world is like.

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which is more important? i.e. which would you choose at the exclusion of the other?