Sunday, October 4, 2009

Am I a lady?

I like to think that I am a lady - certainly less of a Lady than the Queen, but definitely more so than say, Britteny Spears. But I wonder sometimes, what is it that makes me a lady? There are some things that are "unladylike" which I don't do - like spitting (ew) and others that I do (if you don't burp you will explode, or at least have stomach issues). Currently though, what is bothering me is language.

I used to swear very little, but as certain words became more mainstream and everyone around me was saying them, the list of words I do not say got smaller. I certainly do not say the "f" word, or any of the vulgar words used for the female genitalia. Or, as I prefer to say, "junk". I have somehow decided that it is ok to say "bitch" if its used jokingly "those bitches" - I blame this on Dave Chapell. Or "shit" if I'm pissed off (maybe the "f" word if I stub my toe bad) but I try to avoid letting them become a part of my every day language, and not to use them in anger. I definitely avoid using the "n" word, hesitating even to use it in a quote.

In my own family my parents very rarely cuss, my older brother hardly ever, I seldom do, and my youngest brother cusses more easily. Which leads me to wonder, is this a generational thing? Words you would not have heard on the radio before are no longer being bleeped out of songs or TV. I am of the belief that we are going to pot, and this would be just another example of the degradation of society. Perhaps it is not a generational change as I work with a woman in her 50's who cusses like a sailor, and some of my friends - older and the same age as I - swear freely.

Those who swear would probably say that this is a good trend, we should all loosen up and they're just words, right? And I'm too bourgeoisie wanting there to be a difference, wanting to carry myself in a certain way, wanting to be respectable.

And so I find myself back at the question, am I a lady? Can I be a lady and still work in a "man's job" and burp and fart. I have found that in trying to fit in this man's world, I try to act more like the guys, and talk like the guys and I am no longer quite sure what is really me. Am I really coarse? Can I burp and still not be coarse? Does how I dress weigh in to whether I am a lady? I think guys have it easier, I think it would be easier to decide if a guy was a gentleman.

What do you think, what makes a lady and am I one?

On the argument against me being a lady, I present this logic;
Food is the way to a man's heart.
Food is the way to my heart.
Therefore, I must be a man.


  1. Burping and farting are human... to repress any of the natural human condition does not make you a lady... it just makes you a demure wall flower. I think many of the "Ladies dont do that" stuff is from when woman were not 'sposed to draw attention to themselves. And cussing... well its all just words... no biggie.

  2. I understand what your saying, because women, like u & me, who have worked with men (not in an office environment)experience something different. You and I learn that men usually hold back their real gross selves -a little- thank God - and we loosen up and swear once in a while. Oh well, we're better off than the women who have no clue what the real world is like.


which is more important? i.e. which would you choose at the exclusion of the other?