no babies

What with so many of my friends and aquaintances - and aquantainces friends and friend's friends - having babies, I am left to wonder; "Why? Is it worth it?"

So I present to you my list of reasons not to have a baby.

They're loud (they'll cry, they'll scream, they'll whine and complain). They won't be that cute and immobile forever. Too many untestable risks (disorders, diseases, sociopath, republican, bum, cheerleader..). There goes your social life. Are you ready to commit to someone for 18- 50 or more years (who knows when they'll move out or you have to talk to them if nothing else)? Kids these days! Do you want to deal with sexting?! Probably shouldn't walk around naked or in various stages of undress (sure, when they're young its ok, but what about when they're older Mrs. Robinson?). Toys and cars and college and crap (little consumers!). So much to worry about - is there lead in their toys? Melamine in their milk? Is Frank the neighborhood pervert watching them? Will they call?! You get bored. You change your mind. Did I mention the screaming? And the personal space? The freedom. Shaking is frowned upon. They don't listen. They're little demon humans who will grow up to be adults and I seriously wonder whether they come with any pre-programed morals or values - so you'd better instill some! Your not supposed to call them names or smack em. And what if you mess up? There's no pretest for parenthood.

I think that's all. I know, aren't I a horrid person for thinking that about children. I'm sure there's more I can't think of at the moment.

What I would like - although I am not at this time even remotely considering breeding - is for you to tell me why anyone would want to have children. I'm curious.

I do know that they are little social and genetic experiments, and of course that is fun. I cannot agree with the "keep the human race alive" theory. Why? Let it peter out. It would make a nice book. What would the last few be like? How will they die? Suicide or old age? But who would read it!?(I am thinking of "On The Beach" by Nevil Shute, but ending for a different reason of course) That would be a shame. The human race dying off and no one to observe and comment on it - except perhaps the dolphins. "So long and thanks for all the fish!"

All I want for Christmas - or, I'm dreaming of a Green Christmas, prt II

By popular demand (or..not) I'm blogging my green & easy low budget Christmas (or anytime) wish list.

Cards - preferably made from recycled paper - are great. If your can't think of what to say, why not just write one thing you like about me? A friend of mine did that once and it was such a nice card she didn't need to get me anything else.

Donations are great. You can give any amount and there are charities or groups out there to support any interest. I've donated to a poor school so they could buy books in honor of my dad, and through Oxfam I've donated money so a family could get mosquito nets in honor of my brother.

Time is free, but it can be the hardest to give. I'd love it if my mom and grandmother could come down for the holidays, and I wouldn't need anything else. (ok, they'd have to buy a ticket)

Gift Certificates are usually pretty easy (although unfortunately they often come on unbiodegradable plastic) though a bit impersonal. Spa gift certificates are a no-brainer for women. (and the Little Green Spa in Orlando is green & great!) The first time I went to Ethos was because of a gift certificate - and luckily theirs (and many other small businesses) are paper.

If you make a mean pesto, or delicious cookies, edible gifts can be cheap to make and are well received.

As I try to green up my house and life I am trying to cut down on the amount of things I own that are neither biodegradable nor recyclable. Plus, living in a tiny apartment, I am trying to have as little "stuff" as possible.

As to wrapping, personally I go with "free". I have a little box where I keep bows and ribbons and tissue paper etc from gifts I receive, and I use them along with inside out grocery bags to wrap gifts. This year I've wrapped a few things in strictly tissue paper. Since its so light it only needs one piece of tape - or no tape and a piece of ribbon to hold it together. I think the result is attractive, and it makes me happy knowing I've saved something from the trash. When I did not have any old ribbon to reuse, I've used plain hemp twine, or coloured raffia.

Also, if you are shipping your gifts, consider eco-friendly mailers. Typical manila envelopes are not recyclable (so I've read) due to the high ink content, but at most office stores (Staples, Target..) you can find recycled/recyclable mailers which use paper padding instead of bubbles, and are made from post consumer content recycled materials. I forgot to mention it in the "comments" section at amazon.com, and the last book I ordered came in a nasty plastic mailer. Why?!

Now, if you have a bigger budget, I'd like a larger kitchen.

a wonderful nondenominaitonal holiday

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and although I will not really be participating (no cooking, or get togethers for me - just work), I do love the day. Thanksgiving is one of the few secular but wildly celebrated holidays. Who can not love a holiday that is based upon good food, and reflecting upon what you have to be thankful for. I do not know what percentage of families sit down to their bounty and think at all about what they have to be thankful for, or how many just gorge themselves and watch football.
I love the food you eat once or twice a year, the family togetherness (not so much the stress), and the meaning behind it. People helping people, and gratitude for what you have.

This year I am grateful to have a good job, my health, and a home. I remind my self of the job part often at work (at least I have a job, with benefits.. it could be worse!). I am grateful for my friends and my family. I'm also happy for the time I have spent in Florida, and the chance to get to know a beautiful state.

The flip side of course is that Thanksgiving heralds Christmas. Shopping and travel or work and hum bug. I love Christmas and the holiday season when I am with my family...

In search of a "green" Christmas tree

Halloween has just ended, and stores and theme parks are decorating for.. Christmas. Yes, Thanksgiving has not yet come, and it has been pushed aside in place of the impending holidays. And so, although the holiday is more than a month away, I find myself offhandedly planning for Christmas. Eco cards and eco gifts and the one that has still eluded me, the eco tree.

I love live Christmas trees, but as I live in an ultra tiny apartment, I do not think I could get a cut one small enough. This thought - the necessary smallness of the tree - naturally leads me to think of Emmit Otter and their "Christmas branch". Why cut down a whole tree? I could decorate just a branch instead! The pitifulness of a Christmas branch actually appeals to me. I worked at a.. plant place once (not garden center, what would one call The Organized Jungle?) and at Christmas time we sold trees. In order to get them ready a certain amount of trimming was necessary, and they were more than happy to give away the trimmings. So, I suppose I could find someplace that sells trees and get a few branches for free (they lasted forever in a vase of water and made great wreaths).

Actual live trees (or shaped shrubs or rosemary) with roots are an excellent choice and they are the right size, but I have no yard or porch for it to live on. I don't think one could even survive in my apartment until after Christmas when I could give it away. If you have the space for it though, rosemary trees can be easily transplanted in the yard and require only well drained soil and sun. Another great option is the Easter Red Cedar which is native to Florida, is drought tolerant, and resembles has a Christmas tree shape when young.

Recently I fell in love with tacky artificial trees, and it is in that direction that I am looking this year. I like the look of some tinsel trees, but as I can not find out what they are made of, I have decided to go with something that has perhaps started the tacky Christmas tree tradition: the Aluminum Christmas Tree. If I get a vintage one its reused so no raw materials or energy were used to produce it, its recyclable, and probably biodegradable too. I'm not sure how it will look with some eco ornaments (I think aluminum trees look best with tacky retro ornaments) but I'll let you know!

Another tree option I've fallen in love with is the feather tree. To me they actually look less tacky than tinsel or fake trees. If they're white they make me think of soft fallen snow. I say white because I think it was a pink feather tree that made me fall in love with them. My hesitation with feather trees comes from the fact that I do not know if they are cruelty free or not. How are the feathers acquired? Does someone gather them as they fall, or are they plucked? How green is a feather tree? I have to do more research. I hope they are green, because the glory of getting a two foot or less tree, is that you have room for more.

Christmas tree option number five is very simple, minimalist and affordable. Back in the days when I was an interior plant maintainer I got to explore some very interesting upper class homes. One of my favourties was the house of Ed and Ed. They had great taste in art and since I had their key and came early, I never saw them (except the time I came too early...). I do not remember any of my clients Christmas Trees, except Ed and Ed's. One, (I do not remember if it was real or artificial) had a teddy bear theme, but the other was the best idea for an eco friendly affordable tree. It was simply a few large branches with smooth black bark (beech?) stuck into a plain black pot decorated with glass icicles and little else. As I'd rather not spray paint the branches, my only question is from what kind of tree should I get these branches? Something with a smooth bark, and strong enough to support a few ornaments.

Or, I'll be the grinch, and there will be no tree.
But if I do get one, I will add pictures when I find it!

The Christmas dilemma

The Holidays are getting closer which is causing my mind to skip ahead from shopping and eating and giving to getting. I have been making a lot of trips to donate assorted goods ever since I moved into my apartment, and I'm not done yet. I'm trying to take a hard look at what I have, and get rid of what I don't really want/need/use. I'm definitely not cutting back to the bare minimum, but two black skirts that are the same style? A candle that is nice but I'll never use it? A really cute stuffed frog that will get more love elsewhere? I can do without all that, and I'm still no where near minimalism.

What I wonder is, what is appropriate during the holiday season as far as receiving gifts are concerned. I feel bad if someone spends their money to buy me something, and since it is not something I like and can't return I re-gift it or donate it. This happens fairly often with my Japanese step-people. Why can't they just send sushi? Since communication at all is difficult, and my dad won't do it, there is no way to tell them "thanks, but no thanks". I have repeatedly told my parents that I only want things that are not plastic, are earth friendly, green, biodegradable, etc. Gift donations, or "memories" (like time together) are great.

But what about everyone else? How do I tell anyone else that might want to buy me things? Do I even tell them? I could post something on facebook, I know people have done that. And, when I do get things I'd rather not have, what then? Telling my dad that I appreciated the foot bath massage thing but would just prefer a pedicure did not work so well. He and his wife ended up a little insulted (or maybe it was just her). Should I not say anything?

Lovely Luscious Lunapads

a brief public service announcement;
"for those of you that are easily grossed out, or disgusted by the talk of intimate women's products (and I don't mean vibrators) please leave". Kind of reminds me of when we had the talk in elementary school. I think this is the part where the rest of you watch a show about sharks or something.



Finally, a review for one of my new favourite undergarments: Lunapads. Lunapads is a really cool company run by women selling all sorts of cool products to let you have a "happier period, naturally". Among a few other things. My pstyle came from Lunapads.

You may be wondering, how on earth could I be referring to menstrual products as cool? To start with, let me describe lunapads. They are reusable, menstrual pads and they are the most comfortable thing I have ever worn. They are made of the softest cotton fleece in a wide array of fabrics from organic to conventionally grown cotton. There are other companies that sell reusable menstrual pads (gladrags is another popular one) but part of what sold me on Lunapads was the assortment of fun fabrics they had to choose from. That, and the design seems the best. The website is pink and cheerful, they have quick and helpful customer support, and their blog and videos seem to have the right balance between feminine, feminist, and self reliance. They are not in your face as some feminist groups can be, they don't seem to push you or come off as extremists. They are frank and open, but never gross or obscene.

Another great thing about Lunapads is the section on their website dedicated to donating pads to women in developing nations. I have thought about what women in third world countries do durring their periods, but only in passing and without thinking their was anything that could be done. Lunapads makes it easy to donate pads or money to women in other countries - they also have a pattern to download if you want to sew some pads and donate those instead. Their blog features stories from women who have delivered the pads, stories of how they have helped women in these countries, and what life is like for them without adequate sanitary supplies.

Back to why I love my lunapads (even if I don't quite love my period). Before I discovered reusable pads, every month I suffered through nast, uncomfortable, smelly, crinkly, wasteful disposable, irritating pads. Somehow I was sure that those nasty things (even the Seventh Generation brand) were irritating me. While researching different reusable pad options I discovered that I wasn't the only one. The plastics and chemicals and whatnot in the disposable pads irritated other people too! Amazingly enough, not only are my lunapads super comfortable, they don't smell and obviously they don't crinkle. Instead, I have a the wonderful feeling of not wasting. I buy the pads once and they'll last me roughly five years - as opposed to throwing out about six or so pads every month and contributing to our ever growing landfills. With lunapads you get a wonderful feeling of self reliance and they come in fun happy designs. Some other products they carry to make your period happy are lunablend, which is a mix of essential oils to help with PMS and a Lunachart. The Lunachart helps you to chart your cycle and thereby get more in touch with your body and the cycles you go through. Charting your cycle not only helps you if your trying to become pregnant (or avoid it) it also causes you to pay more attention to your body and notice any patterns or irregularities. Perhaps if I chart my cycle I can be a little more prepared next time I feel like going postal (like calling in sick or at least dabbing on some lunablend).

Having an assortment of fun patterns may seem superficial, but getting in touch with your cycle and attractive pads helps to change your perspective on your period. Instead of dreading uncomfortable disposable pads, I don't mind so much when its time for my period now, and I get to choose which cute print to wear. Cocoa Kaleidoscope or my new organic Magenta Mandela?

As to cleaning them, I don't find it gross at all - certainly no more gross than washing cloth diapers. Just rinse or pretreat or scrub or whatever, toss them in a bucket or whatever to soak until its laundry day, and hang dry.

You might be thinking, "I don't wear pads, I wear tampons so Lunapads aren't for me". Tampons are still disposable, they are still treated with an array of chemicals (even the cotton ones), and anything that could potentially cause death should make you think twice. For people who are not interested in cloth pads, and like tampons, there are still other more environmentally friendly alternatives. There is the diva cup which gets rave reviews and there are natural reusable sea sponge tampons. I think I'll give those a try next, for swim suit season (even though I'll still only go in ankle deep... I'm sure your still shark bait...). According to JadeandPearl.com which sells sea sponge tampons "The average woman uses nearly 600 pounds of paper and cotton throughout her lifetime menstrual cycle. In North America alone, an estimated 20 billion bleached pads and tampons end up in our sewage systems each year. Sponge tampons are reusable for 6 months or more."

Give them a try, you might fall in love. You might get more in touch with yourself - that is one aspect of lunapads I love. They don't make you feel like your period is gross or something to be ashamed of or secretive about. Its natural and it doesn't have to be horrible. I know I won't be going back to disposables.

Am I a lady?

I like to think that I am a lady - certainly less of a Lady than the Queen, but definitely more so than say, Britteny Spears. But I wonder sometimes, what is it that makes me a lady? There are some things that are "unladylike" which I don't do - like spitting (ew) and others that I do (if you don't burp you will explode, or at least have stomach issues). Currently though, what is bothering me is language.

I used to swear very little, but as certain words became more mainstream and everyone around me was saying them, the list of words I do not say got smaller. I certainly do not say the "f" word, or any of the vulgar words used for the female genitalia. Or, as I prefer to say, "junk". I have somehow decided that it is ok to say "bitch" if its used jokingly "those bitches" - I blame this on Dave Chapell. Or "shit" if I'm pissed off (maybe the "f" word if I stub my toe bad) but I try to avoid letting them become a part of my every day language, and not to use them in anger. I definitely avoid using the "n" word, hesitating even to use it in a quote.

In my own family my parents very rarely cuss, my older brother hardly ever, I seldom do, and my youngest brother cusses more easily. Which leads me to wonder, is this a generational thing? Words you would not have heard on the radio before are no longer being bleeped out of songs or TV. I am of the belief that we are going to pot, and this would be just another example of the degradation of society. Perhaps it is not a generational change as I work with a woman in her 50's who cusses like a sailor, and some of my friends - older and the same age as I - swear freely.

Those who swear would probably say that this is a good trend, we should all loosen up and they're just words, right? And I'm too bourgeoisie wanting there to be a difference, wanting to carry myself in a certain way, wanting to be respectable.

And so I find myself back at the question, am I a lady? Can I be a lady and still work in a "man's job" and burp and fart. I have found that in trying to fit in this man's world, I try to act more like the guys, and talk like the guys and I am no longer quite sure what is really me. Am I really coarse? Can I burp and still not be coarse? Does how I dress weigh in to whether I am a lady? I think guys have it easier, I think it would be easier to decide if a guy was a gentleman.

What do you think, what makes a lady and am I one?

On the argument against me being a lady, I present this logic;
Food is the way to a man's heart.
Food is the way to my heart.
Therefore, I must be a man.