The Christmas dilemma

The Holidays are getting closer which is causing my mind to skip ahead from shopping and eating and giving to getting. I have been making a lot of trips to donate assorted goods ever since I moved into my apartment, and I'm not done yet. I'm trying to take a hard look at what I have, and get rid of what I don't really want/need/use. I'm definitely not cutting back to the bare minimum, but two black skirts that are the same style? A candle that is nice but I'll never use it? A really cute stuffed frog that will get more love elsewhere? I can do without all that, and I'm still no where near minimalism.

What I wonder is, what is appropriate during the holiday season as far as receiving gifts are concerned. I feel bad if someone spends their money to buy me something, and since it is not something I like and can't return I re-gift it or donate it. This happens fairly often with my Japanese step-people. Why can't they just send sushi? Since communication at all is difficult, and my dad won't do it, there is no way to tell them "thanks, but no thanks". I have repeatedly told my parents that I only want things that are not plastic, are earth friendly, green, biodegradable, etc. Gift donations, or "memories" (like time together) are great.

But what about everyone else? How do I tell anyone else that might want to buy me things? Do I even tell them? I could post something on facebook, I know people have done that. And, when I do get things I'd rather not have, what then? Telling my dad that I appreciated the foot bath massage thing but would just prefer a pedicure did not work so well. He and his wife ended up a little insulted (or maybe it was just her). Should I not say anything?