intimidated

for so long i've been a non-confrontationalist (similar i think to my dad and brother) but it has always bothered me. someone will say something rude or do something that is wrong and i don't respond and it simmers inside of me while i plot their doom. like including their car in my experiment to see if splenda equal and sweet and low have the same effects as sugar in a gas tank. but, i'm trying to speak up and out more lately.
but now the question arises, which is better? i suppose you could put a positive spin on not responding to insults etc and say i'm "turning the other cheek" or whatever. but what about people who litter? i'm building up the courage to speak up when people i know litter, but strangers? the guy at walgreens today who tossed his trash into a shopping cart when around the corner was a trash can?
my irrational fear is that if i do speak up i'll get yelled at or insulted or worse. i suppose if i am going to speak out more i need to not let people's responses get to me. of course, i shouldn't let what people say get to me at all, but i have a hard time with that - like when i get taunted at work (its hard being the lone tree hugging heathen).
also, if i guess i should be careful how i respond, or i could be percieved as a bully. like the whole christian debate - or the abortion debate. and perhaps its best to just be quiet and not let people know how you feel because maybe they won't like you so much if they know your a tree hugging pro choice liberal heathen. of course, if that turns them off why should i want to talk to them anyways.. i have conservative no-choice christian friends.
and, i like the debate - when its rational. if we can rationally debate evolution or abortion or gay rights thats cool - i like it.
and there is the delema of the internet. have some people not responded to my blog thing because they are busy, insulted, or haven't checked it?

christians

I am told that perhaps my "yes we can" post may have sounded rude to some christians. i do not understand why. by saying the bible argument does not work with my i was simply trying to state that i am not a christian so that argument does not work. because, how could i believe something based on a book i believe is a work of fiction. and why not bring on the apocalypse if accepting people is a forerunner of it? my very amiable brother and father think it is incendiary.
i have several christian friends and family members (haven't heard from them since that post/e-mail so who knows how that friend thing is going) who i do not think know i am agnostic. i guess they assume i am like them. i tend to do the same. if i read a blog i assume the reader is a youngish white female until i read otherwise. and if i meet someone i assume they think as i do. i haven't brought up my absence of christian beliefs because it tends to be met with "no! your not" - this from a co-worker (something along those lines) and i think my grandmother ignores it when i mention it. i don't know what they think when they realize i'm not christian. what do they suddenly assume? other than that i am going to hell. plus, how do you bring it up?
if i meet someone and find out they are christian, i guess i generally apply my stereotypes to them. although of course there are many degrees and many types of christians. from the lady i work with who is very nice and accepting of people, to the vietnamese guy who is a decon or something but is not very accepting.
so, christians, if any read this, whats up? have i insulted you somehow? do you not like being called christians?

in other news, i've got to get my camera back or get a camera phone, so i can start taking pictures of dinner and writing about that. otherwise, its going to be all bitching.